Anybody Seriously Want To Tell About Trauma But Can't Until Asked

I am hoping this is not absolutely crazy, but I've read numerous articles regarding the terrible feelings about being forced to reveal trauma details for your t. I'm dealing with almost the other.

I've many 'troubles' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive step father to an adult that I trusted as a maternal figure that showed she'd different suggestions for your connection in HighSchool... and then what is daily becoming more of the certainty that I have repressed very early neglect (I've always had risks but am not experiencing his and my voice in my own brain which isn't nice exchange of words)... I have NEVER told details of any one of this stuff. I've described to two people who "anything" occurred with this person I trusted which was the extent. I'm plagued small movie in my head of the people from the, by photos and now these comments of what I believe.

I have found that I can not tell him ANYTHING if he I want to talk, but cannot doesn't ask and am dealing with at. I've told him this and he's proficient at attempting to ask me questions. The issue is, I may also not tell him what to ask. I know it may seem totally insane, but it is much like I'm banned to only freely tell things-but I am permitted to answer. He's gone back and forth about 'processing' trauma and I believe I am so quiet about things happening that he does not believe they're and starts to consider we have to get another way. I get upset once I hear him want to give up hope about actually getting relief and acquire extremely frustrated and speak about not addressing the stress exclusively. I can't tell him that although it's like I AM AWARE I've to get these facts out. I think he's also concerned I cannot manage coping with the injury immediately because of my panic disorder, but I donot understand how to modify any of this. He covers attempting to take action with as small depth and injury as possible and I have read about all these new solutions to deal with PTSD without detailed handling, but I need it so bad.

Does this seem sensible to ANYONE? I know I'd be HIGHLY embaressed to convey the things I expect it'snot something sick making me wish and I would need to to... But I'm worried we will spend years since he thinks I'm scared, tiptoeing across the facts and that I am desperately wanting to pour the beans. I hope I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.